Take
Action
Optional Exercises
For those who like to jump right in, there are some actions you can take even before our first session.
Use our Miro templates or use your preferred methods for writing or drawing exercises.
Wheel of Life
This exercise allows you to score your life in eight areas. It can be a good “temperature taker” or check-in, plus help us determine what our area of focus should be. You might notice an area that’s doing well or one that’s out of balance.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Zones of Trust
What are the topics / who are the people who are “safe” and will treat our truth with respect and care? What are the topics / who are the people who are less safe or less trusted, and might not want our truth or might not respect it?
Being your authentic self and acting in line with your values doesn’t require you to open yourself up to potential hurt, abuse, games, or manipulations. Consider if your values include self-protection, even if that means “playing the game” to protect yourself and guard your truth.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Bucket Multiverse
In this exercise, we’ll consider our “bucket multiverse.” What does our bucket look like? How many holes are there? How big are they? What’s in the bucket and what’s leaking out? What should be in the bucket but isn’t?
After the drawing exercise, consider which feelings are brought up. What are your needs? What actions can you consider taking?
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Inner Critic / Higher Self
Turn these two into characters. Hear their voices. See their shapes and colors, feel their textures. Consider how the voice of the higher self can “win” more often.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Good and Bad People
For years, I showed up to therapy sessions making excuse for a family member’s poor behavior. I’d always say, “She’s a good person, but…” and then tell a story of something pretty awful and hurtful.
My therapist finally asked me one day to list out what makes someone a good person. OK, that’s easy. I listed actions, traits, and behaviors of a good person. She said, “OK, now define a bad person.” I said that it was the opposite. She had me list those things out.
She then asked me which definition fits the person I keep talking about? Oh. She’s a bad person. A good person wouldn’t do these things.
That was a defining moment for me. It taught me to stop making excuses for this person. To expect less. Much less. Expect the frequent abuse instead of waiting for the glorious day when she would treat me well. That was very freeing.
Now it’s your turn.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Feelings, Needs, Blockers, Actions
What do you feel most in touch with? For some of us, it’s our needs. We know which of our needs are incomplete or missing. Have we identified the feelings associated with those needs?
Some of us are in touch with our feelings, but we haven’t identified which missing or incomplete needs these feelings represent.
In this exercise, you can map these out, one set per table row (if you use the template below). Consider feelings, matching needs, what’s blocking you from getting those needs met, and what safe and healthy actions you can take to remove blockers and fulfill those needs.
Try completely focusing this on yourself. Try removing what others need to do or who they need to be for you to understand your feelings and needs, remove blockers, and feel more fulfilled.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Burnout Chain
You know when your burned out. You know the feelings, emotions, thoughts, and sensations in your body. You might feel pain, fatigue, hopelessness, or depression.
Think back to the last time you were burned out (which could be now). What was something you noticed before you really hit the wall? Did you notice a certain feeling, mood, or habit changing? And what about a change or shift even before that?
List as many symptoms, habits, changes, or behaviors in as many steps as you can. Keep tracing back the steps to burnout so that you can recognize it (and avoid it) earlier? Recognize and break the burnout chain.
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Mindful Conversations
Speaking of inner critics… and needs that are blocked… how mindfully do we enter into conversations? Let’s say that your friend is having a tough time. You want them to feel supported and empowered, but you end up telling them that you think they’re taking the wrong path. Did they feel your support and empowerment?
You’re not responsible for others’ feelings or how they react, but you can control what you say and do. We can’t “make” someone feel something, but we can be an influence. We are part of the conversation; are we a positive or negative part?
This exercise is about considering what you might want to say or do (or not say or not do) based on your values and the feelings you hope the other person will experience. Think about the way you hope someone might feel after interacting with you, and work backwards. How will you show them support or empowerment (even if you want to include advice or suggestions)?
Bonus: Imagine the other person is you. What feelings would you like to experience? How can you talk to yourself in a way that influences you towards more positive feelings?
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Three Big Rocks
Next, fill in the “smaller rocks” sticky notes. These are additional priorities, goals, or initiatives that support one or more of the Big Three. Use as few or as many stickies as you need.
Next, consider how the rest of the space in the container might be filled with sand and then water. What are the elements in your life that will support your Big Three and your smaller rocks?
Finally, consider what your container is made of or represents. What sort of “space” do you need to be in to accomplish most or all of this?
Make a copy of this Miro board, and fill it in. Add your name and the date.
Who Is On Your Team
People
- The people who you can turn to and are likely to listen and support you.
- Their role in your life.
- How they are likely to support you, especially in any situations you might be in now.
Resources
- What other resources you have access to (people you know, trusted professionals like a therapist, government or municipal services, etc.).
- How you might use those resources.
Enneagram Type
Enneagram is a set of nine typologies. We all fall chiefly into one or two of them, but will certainly have aspects of all of them.
Though you are welcome to use other systems (or no system), I prefer Enneagram over other methods/systems because of the flexibility (not putting you into a single box) as well as the scale of how a typology can manifest or behave differently depending on our level of psychological health.
I’m an Enneagram 8, and it’s a rather good description of who I am, what I value, and what I’m likely to do. It’s imperfect and not 100% right, but I find it to be rather close. But that scale of psychological health is important since both Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Hitler were type 8.
Taking an Enneagram test could range from interesting to helpful, but it’s optional. It’s $20 USD, and doesn’t just give you a number. You’ll get a PDF with more details. Here’s a copy of my test results, if you are curious.